The death of democracy has serious consequences
The five stages of grief, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance are part of the framework for learning to live with a significant loss. They are natural reactions that help us understand, navigate, and identify our feelings. These emotions will happen after a great loss and can occur randomly at any stage of the process.
This framework is often called the Kübler-Ross model after Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross introduced it in her 1969 book On Death and Dying.
The end of democracy can be a traumatic event for many. Below are my thoughts on how the Kübler-Ross model applies to the perceived death of our democracy, as many seem to be grieving as if they were contemplating their own death.
All democracies die in similar ways. When failing to deliver on its promises, people look for alternatives. And this is when tyranny seizes the opportunity. Tyrants pose as the only solution for a series of imagined problems. To sell their sinister agenda, they appeal to the lowest human instincts, usually racism, misogyny, and hatred of immigrants. And there is a leader who is the only one able to solve the problems. Unaware of the danger, people allow these outsiders to take hold of all levels of government. Once inside, they eliminate the rule of law and, at the same time, maintain a fake image of a functioning democracy.
So, let’s jump right into our death of democracy's five stages of grief.
Denial
Denial is divided into denial before the elections and denial after losing them. In 2016, we were in collective denial and disbelief that Trump could win against Hillary Clinton. And in 2024, to a lesser degree, we engaged in denial after being “sure” that Trump was now finished. We were so sure the ridiculous little clown could ever retake the White House from the spectacular and powerful Kamala Harris liberal, progressive anthems; we felt the enthusiasm and plunged right into comfortable denialism after an unprecedented loss.
The second round of denial is to deny what we have lost. We want to believe there will be something or someone who will save democracy in the end. The bottom line is that people refuse to believe we might lose our democracy for good. We find solace in that it never happened, so it can’t ever happen.
Anger
Anger happens when we see a bunch of misinformed people voting to terminate everyone's rights. We are resentful, and apathy makes us turn away from politics in disbelief. We want to remove ourselves from reality, move to another country, and actively ignore everything. Our powerlessness turns into depression and then anger.
However, anger, unlike denial, can lead to a positive outcome. Anger is the fuel of protests and revolutions, and it can create change. Never underestimate the power of an angry mob. When finding a focus and direction, public anger can move mountains. The more extreme and reckless the changes, the greater the anger and reaction they will provoke.
Americans, by nature, tend to be feisty, thus increasing the chances of rebellion against authoritarianism. Most people own guns, and Americans are an intolerant and angry bunch.
However, as we well know, Americans also tend to be angry at the wrong people, evidenced by a collective hatred against Anthony Fauci, whose only fault was to protect Americans from pandemics. They often point their guns at those who are there to help and protect the filthy rich who are looting them.
The longer we stay angry, the better. Anger could fester for years, culminating in violent conflict or steady opposition through coalitions, class action suits, and other strategies.
Organized outrage, or the lack of it, will determine the outcome of our democracy.
If anger and rebellion do not materialize and too much time passes, America's democracy will slowly vanish and become an empty shell of its former self. We might already be there.
Bargaining
Bargaining is when we finally give up and fall into complete apathy. It happens when the authoritarian state fully controls people’s lives. The state has infiltrated all aspects of society, dictating how businesses should conduct business and what the press can or cannot say. The government is now micromanaging everyone’s lives.
For example, bargaining here can be characterized by the press compromising its message in order to survive. Instead of facing the consequences of speaking the truth, the press conforms to a more pro-regime message. They are bargaining for their lives and exchanging their integrity.
People have lost their willingness to rebel or protest because they fear jail time or, even worse, being kidnapped, tortured, or killed. And if you think it could not happen in the United States, the algorithm will automatically send you back to the denial stage. If unchecked or vigorously challenged, this is precisely what will happen in the United States.
At some point, we see people submitting to the new order and trying to normalize life despite knowing they no longer have freedoms. This is the destiny of all failed democracies in so many countries.
People know they will lose everything at this point, but they are trying to make the best of what is still around. “If I can save myself, I don’t care about the others.” “I know I don’t have good legal rights, but I might not need them after all.” “I never cared about democracy anyway.” “As long as I get what I need, I don’t care about the others.”
Slowly, we see many normalizing what once was inconceivable. It will be even more painful to see like-minded friends now on the side of the oppressor, saying things like: “It’s not as bad as I thought.” The installation of fascism comes in planned, smooth moves rather than abrupt, decisive steps.
People begin to accept the new reality because it is easier and safer. Instead of making the system work for everyone, they become isolated and fight only for themselves and those close to them. This usually involves being collaborators and snitches of the state.
Depression
This emotion can be present and mixed with all other emotions. This is when people finally give up and know democracy is irreversibly dead. Everyone acknowledges the fall of democracy but feels powerless and afraid to fight. This is usually an advanced stage of deterioration in many countries. The acknowledgment that there is no way out leads to depression.
Depression is also found trailing together with anger and denial. But also, after a while, people feel exhausted. After Trump was elected for a second turn, everyone felt exhausted and depressed. They feel as if they can’t see one more picture of the great leader or hear his voice one more time without feeling sick. They feel powerless and feel their life have been invaded by a low and crass element.
Acceptance
At this stage, most come to peace with the death of a democratic state. They accept the brutal regime in part because they were born into it and don’t know other ways of life. They craft living strategies to live in peace with adversity, and social life becomes a game of deception. The government is ruthless, and the people emulate it, applying to the ones below them. “They pretend they pay us, and we pretend we work.”
In chronic authoritarian regimes, nothing is as it seems. People have jobs, and banks and government institutions appear to function normally. However, the actual rules are usually covert and not transparent.
Services are greatly differentiated. Those who have money have better services and better options. Regular folks who are not associated with the government and the ruling elite, or the poor, get either terrible services or no services at all because they cannot cut through the bureaucratic red tape that envelops everything. Red tape is created to produce bribes, supplementing public servants' insufficient wages.
Regulations go out the window. Anyone can build high-rises in house zones. Police services are a joke. Don’t call the police if a burglar enters your home; they won’t come. Pollution is unchecked; say goodbye to your clean air and water. The social inequality is perhaps the worst part of a dictatorship. Eventually, the poor will build gigantic shanty towns controlled by drug lords that will outgun the state militia. Good Luck!
How do I know all of this? I was raised in Brazil during the military coup from 1964 -1984. The country is now a democracy that can stop ex-president Bolsonaro from running for office for the next eight years due to criminal conduct, something the US could not do. But the country still, to this day, shows ghosts of the military regime embedded in the fabric of political life. And that is how pugnacious a dictatorship can be for a country once it is allowed in.
Let’s go back to anger and stay there, hoping we can keep our democracy from disappearing. There is still time, but no one knows how much.
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